7 Signs That You're Not a Bad Person, Just Suffering from Trauma

It is often said that difficulties make us change for the better and the same goes for trauma. Healing from trauma, especially psychological and emotional, can lead to positive development, self-awareness, and increased resilience. However, it also affects us in many negative ways that we may not be aware of.

The American Psychological Association (2013) defines trauma as events that threaten life, not just situations where your life is in serious danger. It can also result from losses or emotional and psychological abuse. The suicide of a loved one can be a painful event, as well as being suddenly abandoned by them. Simply put, experiencing trauma involves any situation that triggers intense fear, anxiety, and severe stress, leading to prolonged despair.

And if not healed, trauma can manifest in various negative ways in terms of perception, behavior, or even physiology. As mentioned, here are 7 signs that you're not a bad person, it's your trauma.

You always look for signs of trouble first.

Has anyone ever said that you tend to think negatively too much? Do you often give up first when things get tough? Do you find it difficult to forgive and forget when others wrong you? If you relate to any of these, don't blame yourself too quickly. These are actually common reactions to trauma. There are even studies showing how trauma makes us less optimistic, as it makes us focus on the first signs of trouble (Bower & Sivers, 1998).

You have lost trust in others.

As mentioned earlier, many wounded hearts struggle to trust and connect with others, even loved ones. Trauma makes them more distant and guarded emotionally, often suspicious. They tend to overthink and focus on every little detail about others. Therefore, they also struggle to ask for help or be open about their true emotions (Hansen, 2010).

You avoid social interactions.

One of the most notable signs that someone is struggling with trauma is that their relationships are affected and they sometimes avoid socializing (Amstadter & Vernon, 2008).

Do you always decline invitations or cancel plans last minute? Do you no longer want to spend time with loved ones and keep in touch with them? Do you prefer to be alone and do nothing even though you're not happy?

Don't blame yourself for becoming more withdrawn from society and losing interest in our hobbies and relationships—it could be an unfortunate consequence of your trauma.

You sabotage your relationships.

Have you ever approached someone and gradually fell in love with them—a romantic or platonic love—but felt scared, uneasy, or uncomfortable? Have you ever felt compelled to run away or sabotage your relationships, especially when everything seems to be going well?

Even if you don't realize it, you may be haunted by an unpleasant past (especially memories involving others), leading you to believe that all your relationships from now on will surely fail. That's why you sabotage them yourself (Hansen, 2010).

You have unhealthy coping mechanisms.

When someone struggles with emotional and mental difficulties but doesn't know how to cope, they become overwhelmed and start to let themselves go. Some turn to alcohol, parties, some turn to gambling or overspending. They may sleep or eat uncontrollably to avoid pain. Some even self-harm, neglect themselves, or put themselves in dangerous situations.

No matter how unhealthy the coping mechanism is, the key point is: it's not your fault, it's the trauma causing it.

Your emotions are suppressed and distant.

After experiencing trauma, most people tend to feel vulnerable, fearful, ashamed, confused, violated, or even desperate, but instead of facing their emotions, they try to bury them. It's hard to stop suppressing emotions, especially when the wound hasn't healed. If you feel yourself suppressing your emotions more since the trauma, this is likely the reason (Amstadter & Vernon, 2008).

You can't control your emotions.

This is a sign that you're suffering from psychological trauma. Contrary to what we mentioned earlier, some people are easily overwhelmed to the point where they can't control their emotions, and as a result, they're often angry, irritable, and frequently mood swings and outbursts. They may cry more than before or develop a habit of projecting disappointment onto those around them. Nevertheless, these are signs of prolonged psychological trauma (Amstadter & Vernon, 2008).

So, before blaming yourself, take the time to heal and understand yourself. Show compassion before labeling yourself as a bad person.

And if you relate to any of the above and if you find it difficult to heal from unhealed traumas, please contact a mental health professional today and seek help.