Learning to endure uncertainty to reduce anxiety

Researchers have identified "intolerance of uncertainty" as a significant cause of anxiety and anxiety-related disorders. If you want to reduce rumination, anxious emotions, and avoidance behaviors, then learning to recognize and endure seven types of uncertainty can be beneficial.

Learn to tolerate not knowing the reason for someone's behavior.

People who worry often get trapped in overthinking, pondering the reasons behind others' actions (e.g., "Why did Patricia treat me like that?" "Why did Mark choose Mary for the new team instead of me?"). These thoughts tend to be intrusive, distracting, and gloomy.

The key here is learning to tolerate not knowing the reasons for others' actions or inactions. People are complex, and we only have limited information. Therefore, trying to ascertain the exact reasons why someone behaves a certain way is often futile.

If you can learn to tolerate uncertainty, you can bypass useless rumination. Doing so reduces intrusive thoughts, helps you focus better, and decreases stress.

Recognize when you're avoiding doing something you want to do because you can't be completely certain of a positive outcome.

This type of avoidance behavior can range from small things (e.g., only trying a recipe after someone else in the family has tried it) to big things (like avoiding moving house).

Try this: examine all the things you enjoy doing but are avoiding because you can't guarantee a positive outcome.

Learn to delegate.

People with high intolerance of uncertainty often resist delegating because they can't be entirely sure that the person they delegate to will perform the task as well as they would.

Consider this: (1) Sometimes, others will do a better job than you expected, (2) it's often not a big deal if a task is completed to a lower standard, and (3) In some cases, you may even reduce mistakes.

Recognize when you're over-responsible for protecting others from potential negative consequences.

Over-responsibility is another important factor in anxiety. Hating uncertainty and over-responsibility often go hand in hand.

Example: You do too much for your child or partner because you don't trust them to remember to do those things themselves.

Notice when you're trying to shield others from making mistakes or experiencing potentially negative outcomes. Assess whether this is helpful.

Know when to stop seeking information and start taking action.

People intolerant of uncertainty often read a lot of information before taking any action because they're trying to feel entirely certain about (1) the best course of action and (2) that their action will lead to the desired outcome.

For example, reading 10 books on writing a novel before starting your own book. Or reading hundreds of articles on overcoming anxiety before trying any of the advice.

If you have this tendency, learn to recognize when it's happening and experiment with the idea that trying something yourself is often the best way to accelerate your learning.

Recognize when you're procrastinating starting something because of uncertainty.

For example, you procrastinate learning new computer skills or making financial and investment decisions.

Try this: acknowledge the uncertainty but still expect yourself to take some action. You don't need to know all the answers; you just need to take the next reasonable step.

Recognize when you're jumping from one idea to another due to intolerance of uncertainty.

Worriers sometimes jump from one idea to the next because they may never feel entirely certain that the idea they're pursuing will succeed.

Something similar might happen in romantic relationships – Worriers sometimes "keep their options open" in their relationships because they wonder whether their relationship is right for them if they don't feel absolutely certain.

Pay attention to whether these habits are recurring for you. Sometimes, an instinct to change direction is valuable, but repetitive habits are likely related to intolerance of uncertainty.

*Warning

People intolerant of uncertainty sometimes engage in behaviors like excessive rumination, more checking than usual, seeking additional information, and over-responsibility to prevent things from going wrong. Consider whether these actions help you or if they only keep you constantly stressed and worried, holding you back and causing trouble in your relationships. In such cases, you may need to make adjustments based on your own assessment.

Inspirational ideas from: Dr. Alice Boyes